Besides, isn't the point of blogging to bitch and moan about current events, whine about lousy bosses, cry over lost loves, and rant and rave about one's favorite and most-hated sports teams? To Hell with the exchange of recipes, the one-to-one correspondence with long-lost friends and families (use email and keep all the intimate shit between you and your secret gay lover private), and sharing of one's daily activities through online diaries (OK, we get it! You took a shit. Everyone shits. But no one needs to know if you're a 3-tug wiper or about the time you clogged the toilet at grandma's house. Fuck you!). So, take the mental shotgun out of the gun rack and start blogging!
A blog is free reign to complain.
A blog is for unloading on the millions of mental midgets surfing the Internet.
A blog is a voice for the speechless and silent.
A blog is for you and me.
If that's all it takes to blog...
Well, hey! I can do that! I should do that! I mean, Hell, I want to feel more important and significant than I really am. I want to be self-righteous like a funky-smell-like-ass-tree-hugging NoCal. I want to push my views on the masses so I can feel better about myself. A blog is the perfect medium.
Damn! Come to think of it, I was born to blog! If no one wants to be the voice of reason, I'll be that voice. If someone doesn't want to be criticized for his/her views because he/she is too sensitive to backlash, I'll suffer the repercussions. If no one wants to say what is on their minds, let me do it for them!
In other words, fuck you all!
Also, since I'm new to blogging, it can be my catharsis. I will blog to make people feel bad about themselves so I can smile. I will blog to offend people so I can laugh. I will blog to point out people's shortcomings while hiding my own. I will blog because I am better than everyone. If you don't think so, fuck you. Where's your blog, bitch? What I won't do is tell you about my daily bowel movement (unless it borders on the mystical).
Why? Because that's what blogging is all about!
To paraphrase my man, B. Shake-sizzle:
To blog or not to blog, that is the question:God damn it, I need to blog...not because I want to, but because the world needs me to.
Whether 'tis nobler online to suffer
The slings and arrows of online rubbish,
Or to take arms against an army of geeks in real life
And by opposing end them. To fight—to blog,
No more; and by a blog to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand inane emails, posts, and porn
That mind is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to blog!
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