This is my blog.
There are millions like it, but this one is mine.
My blog is my best friend. It is my life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My blog without me is useless. Without my blog, I am useless.
I must keep my blog real.
I must blog better than my enemy who is trying to out-blog me.
I must blog him before he blogs me. I will...
My blog and I know that what counts online is not the blogs we write, the noise of our rants, nor the trouble we make.
We know it is the hurts that count. We will hurt...
My blog is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its sights, and its intended targets.
I will ever guard it against the ravages of stupidity and ineptitude.
I will keep my blog real and pull no punches, even as I am real and pull no punches.
We will become part of each other. We will...
Before God I swear this creed!!!
My blog and I are the defenders of my domain and IP address.
We are the masters of our enemy, the evil empire Microsoft and its emperor, Bill Gates.
We are the saviors of my life.
So be it until there is no enemy but Mac.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Why blog?
Why blog? Why not? Everyone's doing it, so why shouldn't I?
Besides, isn't the point of blogging to bitch and moan about current events, whine about lousy bosses, cry over lost loves, and rant and rave about one's favorite and most-hated sports teams? To Hell with the exchange of recipes, the one-to-one correspondence with long-lost friends and families (use email and keep all the intimate shit between you and your secret gay lover private), and sharing of one's daily activities through online diaries (OK, we get it! You took a shit. Everyone shits. But no one needs to know if you're a 3-tug wiper or about the time you clogged the toilet at grandma's house. Fuck you!). So, take the mental shotgun out of the gun rack and start blogging!
A blog is free reign to complain.
A blog is for unloading on the millions of mental midgets surfing the Internet.
A blog is a voice for the speechless and silent.
A blog is for you and me.
If that's all it takes to blog...
Well, hey! I can do that! I should do that! I mean, Hell, I want to feel more important and significant than I really am. I want to be self-righteous like a funky-smell-like-ass-tree-hugging NoCal. I want to push my views on the masses so I can feel better about myself. A blog is the perfect medium.
Damn! Come to think of it, I was born to blog! If no one wants to be the voice of reason, I'll be that voice. If someone doesn't want to be criticized for his/her views because he/she is too sensitive to backlash, I'll suffer the repercussions. If no one wants to say what is on their minds, let me do it for them!
In other words, fuck you all!
Also, since I'm new to blogging, it can be my catharsis. I will blog to make people feel bad about themselves so I can smile. I will blog to offend people so I can laugh. I will blog to point out people's shortcomings while hiding my own. I will blog because I am better than everyone. If you don't think so, fuck you. Where's your blog, bitch? What I won't do is tell you about my daily bowel movement (unless it borders on the mystical).
Why? Because that's what blogging is all about!
To paraphrase my man, B. Shake-sizzle:
Besides, isn't the point of blogging to bitch and moan about current events, whine about lousy bosses, cry over lost loves, and rant and rave about one's favorite and most-hated sports teams? To Hell with the exchange of recipes, the one-to-one correspondence with long-lost friends and families (use email and keep all the intimate shit between you and your secret gay lover private), and sharing of one's daily activities through online diaries (OK, we get it! You took a shit. Everyone shits. But no one needs to know if you're a 3-tug wiper or about the time you clogged the toilet at grandma's house. Fuck you!). So, take the mental shotgun out of the gun rack and start blogging!
A blog is free reign to complain.
A blog is for unloading on the millions of mental midgets surfing the Internet.
A blog is a voice for the speechless and silent.
A blog is for you and me.
If that's all it takes to blog...
Well, hey! I can do that! I should do that! I mean, Hell, I want to feel more important and significant than I really am. I want to be self-righteous like a funky-smell-like-ass-tree-hugging NoCal. I want to push my views on the masses so I can feel better about myself. A blog is the perfect medium.
Damn! Come to think of it, I was born to blog! If no one wants to be the voice of reason, I'll be that voice. If someone doesn't want to be criticized for his/her views because he/she is too sensitive to backlash, I'll suffer the repercussions. If no one wants to say what is on their minds, let me do it for them!
In other words, fuck you all!
Also, since I'm new to blogging, it can be my catharsis. I will blog to make people feel bad about themselves so I can smile. I will blog to offend people so I can laugh. I will blog to point out people's shortcomings while hiding my own. I will blog because I am better than everyone. If you don't think so, fuck you. Where's your blog, bitch? What I won't do is tell you about my daily bowel movement (unless it borders on the mystical).
Why? Because that's what blogging is all about!
To paraphrase my man, B. Shake-sizzle:
To blog or not to blog, that is the question:God damn it, I need to blog...not because I want to, but because the world needs me to.
Whether 'tis nobler online to suffer
The slings and arrows of online rubbish,
Or to take arms against an army of geeks in real life
And by opposing end them. To fight—to blog,
No more; and by a blog to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand inane emails, posts, and porn
That mind is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to blog!
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